Just More Stuff

Last week, the maternal unit went to Arkansas to visit her sister. Every time we called, we were interrupting them from the same thing.

Shopping.

Shopping, shopping, shopping.

The maternal unit and the aunt are consummate shoppers. They look for and find wonderful bargains. These few days were no different.

What did they find, you ask? Stuff.

Just. More. Stuff.

More. Stuff. that would go in the yard.

More. Stuff. that would one day fill a garage sale.

More. Stuff. that we would have to move around to mow. Except the maternal unit actually has placed all the More. Stuff. around the fence, so it won't interfere with the mowing.

Of course, all the More. Stuff. has been relocated four or five times this week.

Now... I give you...

More. Stuff. (In no particular order)

This is some sort of iron butterfly. (Not the 70s rock group... they are a completely different topic for a completely different time) I am not sure what the purpose is for the iron butterfly sculpture thingy... except that it makes the maternal unit happy.

See that bird feeder in the background? That is another item. It has been relocated many a time and many a different height. The evil squirrels in my yard love it too. But again... another story for another time.

Look here. These are solar paneled lights. They come on after dark. They glow. They are all over the yard.

This is what they look like when they are glowing...





This is a gazing ball. It's green and made of glass.


It bears only slight resemblance to this gazing ball, which is silver. At least they are both round. They are not located in the same place in the yard.





This is a pretty and colorful banner. I don't mind it so much because I love cardinals (the bird... not the sports team from Kentucky... there is only one sports team from Kentucky, and it is more fearsome than a cardinal. But that is another story for another time.)


Cardinals remind me of my maternal grandfather. He used to paint pictures of them. He painted pictures of robins and blue jays too... but the cardinals were his best and my favorite.




Look!! A birdbath. We have like three or four of them throughout the yard.

Look... another one. There is one in the front yard too. I don't mind birdbaths so much. Mostly because I enjoy watching the birds frolick in the water. They are cute when they are flapping around in there.

The maternal unit paid a dollar for this piece of art. Why? Because it is broken. She probably hot glued that thing back together.

Iron bird house.

Look here... it's another sculpture. Isn't it precious? (Not to be mistaken for the Lord of the Rings reference to The Ring - although Golum might be lurking about the yard and we'd never see him. He's probably hiding in that concrete Japanese temple/house thing we have.)

Here's a cardinal. It is red. It did not come to us red. It came to us in its basest concrete form. However, the maternal unit hit it with a can of red spray paint.

And then, there was this little fellow... No yard would be complete without a frog on a mushroom. Or is this a toad on a toadstool? I cannot tell.

One little frog/toad would be lonely. So, apparently, he needed a friend. Apparently his friend needed a hat. Maybe this frog/toad is a girl. I kinda hope so. I would hate to see a boy frog/toad hanging out in the yard in this get up without any reason for it.


No yard would be complete without a planter in the shape of the female form.

Or a male one...

We are a patriotic family. We have the solar powered lights to prove it.

See... they glow after dark too.

I actually like these wire artsy things. We have three of them. This is elongated...

And this is more rounded.

You'd think we were a "green" family for all the solar operated stuff we now have in the yard. We aren't though. We just throw our garbage out with little heed to where it ends up. However, we do have this solar paneled flower. We have three or four of them. This is what they look like in the daylight.

This is the evening look. Everyone ooh and ahh or there may be heck to pay!!

Birds. Birds who are seeing no evil, hearing no evil and speaking no evil. I always thought it was monkeys who did that, but what do I know?

Forget welcome mats! We just go for welcome rocks!! (Complete with butterfly)

The final solar powered item... acrylic butterflies. We have three of them. They are not JUST solar powered... they are LED and change colors. I am not posting the different colors here... you will just have to trust me on that one.

Well. That's it for now. I'm sure I will be adding additional gems as they come about.

Exaggeration

It is always something, isn't it?

So a couple of weeks ago my maternal unit woke up WAY before her normal time and made her way to the kitchen and the brewed pot of coffee. Her morning ritual is to drink said coffee and take her blood pressure medication. This morning was no different.

After her morning meds, she ambled off to the computer to check her email, etc. After about 30 minutes, she realized she would rather be asleep, and being the retired person she is, headed back to bed and dreamed a little dream of me.

Okay, she probably didn't dream. But that was a pretty clever way to end the previous paragraph.

Fast forward an hour or so and you will find the maternal unit making herself a bowl of cereal for breakfast and, having no memory of the early waking experience, took herself another blood pressure pill.

She realized the mistake after she swallowed.

Oops.

As I enter the house at the end of the work day, my paternal unit says the following words to me: Your Mother has had a bad day.

What does that mean? Does it mean she read a disturbing email. Did she shatter another bottle of fingernail polish on the bathroom floor? Did she slip and fall? All sorts of things run through the brain when trying to decipher my paternal unit's phrase. Unfortunately, I have to bite.

Me: What happened?

Dad: Your mother overdosed on blood pressure medicine.

Now, when one thinks of an overdose, one typically believes the person has determined to take vast quantities of a drug. My paternal unit goes on to explain what happened ending with this phrase:

So, we sat around all day and waited to see if your mother was going to die.

Seriously?

Me: Did you call her doctor?

PU: Yes. He said she would probably just have a headache or feel dizzy or maybe faint.

Me: So at no time did he mention the ability of the maternal unit to keel over and kick the proverbial bucket, right?

PU: Well.... no.

Okay. Listen up you senior adults out there... you can elongate the years of your offspring's life if you don't announce that you have spent the day staring at each other waiting for one of you to die.

Seriously. (This is my new favorite word)

I need some ice cream to make me feel better.