Monday, April 21, 2008

I'll Have Fries with That

Well, it is official. I have been minus an organ for one year now. It is hard to believe that my gall bladder has been gone for that length of time... and I can still think fondly of my hospital stay and surgery experience.

That says a lot coming from a chicken like me!

So, how does one celebrate the one year anniversary of the removal of one's gall bladder? Why, one heads to the nearest Burger King and orders a Number One Meal - medium sized - with a Coke! (That's a Quarter Pounder with cheese, for those who don't know)

You see... I have not had a hamburger (or red meat for that matter) in the past year. I have nibbled on a meatball in sauce a couple of times, but I don't think that really counts. I have not had a steak, or roast, or anything else that resembles a cow.

Well. Milk. I drink milk. But that's not the same.

So, I hit the LaVergne Burger King at about 3:30 on the 18th (the official day) and placed my order. Did I want the whole meal, or just the burger? Well... if I'm going to do this - let's go all out!

I ripped into that bag like I had been fasting for 40 days. The fries were gone by the time I got back to my house. Then, it was time for the real deal - and my teeth sank into that meat and the ANGELS SANG!!! I had forgotten what a charbroiled hunk of meat tasted like. Sigh.

The even greater joy is that this dash to debauchery didn't ripped my tummy up. Some would argue that this means I can indulge in the joy of fast food burgers to my heart's content.

Alas - I believe I will leave it to a celebration on April 18. But at least now I have something to look forward to during tax season!!!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

You Could Grow Crabs Somewhere

Girlfriends are great. They lift you up when you are down. They humble you when you are proud. They have insight beyond wisdom and they will eat chocolate with you until you puke.

I have had my share of great gal pals during my life. When I was in elementary school, my buds were Laura and Connie. We went through school together from fourth grade on. We were all SHS Bulldogs and proud of it. We parted ways once college hit - although I did have a number of classes with Laura. But Laura got married and we lost touch. Connie went to work while I stayed in school and we lost touch for a number of years, but we see each other now on a weekly basis and I am honored with her abiding friendship.

My best friend Mary (that is her official title - because whenever I reference her name, it is always "my best friend Mary") did not come into my life until I had graduated high school. She is a year older than me and already had a year of college under her belt when tragedy brought us together. Her father was the youth director at the church I attended. He was killed much too early in life in a motorcycle accident and I met Mary while we were both grieving his loss. Hers being much greater than mine, of course.

Mary is a person who you can go for months without talking to and pick right up where you left off. Mary lives in another state, married a great guy and named her only child after Jerry's grandmother and me. How cool is that?! The family was in town for Easter recently and I got to spend some time with them. I have determined Mary & Jerry are the BEST.PARENTS.EVER because Lora Cathryn has turned out so well. I'd like to take LOADS of credit for this by way of some sort of osmosis... but that really isn't very fair. Needless to say - if the phone rings in the middle of the night and it is Mary - I will do whatever needs to be done. No questions asked. No hesitations. Done. And I know Mary would say the same for me.

Lisa was my first roomate after college. We spent a couple of years laughing hysterically at life and people we watched do stupid things. We lived in an apartment in the middle floor of a complex. That was a big mistake. Mostly because we were certain the middle-eastern man below us was a terrorist manufacturing some sort of explosive device (What in the world can one person do with THAT.MUCH.FERTILZER?) and drug dealers living above us. (Are they playing FOOTBALL up there?!) We were grateful for the night that Lisa heard something scratching outside her bedroom window and found a huge extension ladder leading to the floor above. Garbage bags filled with who-knows-what peppered the ground and people made their way up and down - and then we never heard or saw those people again. Lisa is now a school teacher and works with community theater here - and is a darn fine actress!

Lou and Amy fall in BFF category because of their wit and ability to roll with the punches. We make annual treks either to the mountains or the beach for girl time away from the hassles of work and other monotonous daily grinds. We accept each other for what we are and we move on ahead. We can and do disagree at times, but we typically don't let those disagreements snag our friendships.

And then... there is Requelle.

Requelle is a girl that when I first met I never thought would be in the BFF category. Mostly because we are both controllers and we were thrown together (the fault of Carey Dean - as are most things in life) in a working environment that really embraced unity and teamwork. That looked great on paper, but in the real world - there were two chefs in the kitchen. Both wielding large knives at the other one. Both trying not to kill Carey Dean on any given day... for any given reason.

We worked together a good year before we really started to click. We finally began to see the other's strong points and weak points and how we could best relate to each other. There were plenty of times of asking and receiving forgiveness and we lived through productions and conventions and hours upon hours of light settings! Once you have been down that road - you are BFFs whether you intended it or not.

One of the best parts of our relationship - as far as I am concerned - is our ability to laugh together and dream together. If I can make Req laugh until she pukes - I consider my day a huge success! If I can say or do something that embarrasses the smack out of her - the bonus comes from watching her blush - followed by laughter that will make her hurl. I love that part of my relationship.

We are two single girls who have never been married - but would still like that privilege. We have conjured our individual dream men (Emerson and Jonas) and what traits we would like said men to embody. Mine would be a tall, wealthy rancher in Montana (horse ranch, BTW, not cows) who already has kids and doesn't want any more. Said children are pre or newly teens who love me just because I'm me.

Req doesn't share this dream. She needs to be near a large body of salt water - and Utah's lake just doesn't count.

While we were talking about this the other day, I was attempting to figure out what my saltwater friend could do in the wilds of Montana and still be happy. I remembered that everytime she goes home to Maryland, she returns with pounds and pounds of crabmeat, which she then turns into some sort of delicacy that I simply don't get behind. But that's just me. It was this thought process that forced the following statement from my mouth:

"You could grow crabs somewhere"

There was the shortest breath of a pause before we both burst into laughter and I visualized Requelle pulling her car over to save her upholstery from a fate worse than... well... you get the pictures.

Best Friends Forever.