Thursday, January 29, 2009

Happy Birthday Mom - stay away from the Liquid Plumber

My mother turned 76 today. She almost didn't turn 76+ one day. Why? Apparently 76 year olds don't bother with instructions when it comes to using a drain cleaner. I am not certain if she was using Liquid Plumber or Drain-o... but she was attempting to unstop her bathroom sink, which had been running slow.

She chose to do this task on her birthday today. Don't ask me why. She poured the material in and failed to complete the task, which is to also pour water into the drain. Why did she not complete the task? She was busy multi-tasking.

So she was quite surprised and even shocked when a noxious fume began to billow out from the drainpipe. She was then overcome with the fumes and became light-headed and dizzy and stumbled from the bathroom area to yell at my 75 year old father to come help.

This was probably her way of saying "If I'm gonna die by noxious fumes... I'm taking you with me!" My father entered the bathroom that was now as foggy as good old London Town and proceeded to open the windows and run the water in the sink.

They have set up a fan in the bathroom in order to un-fumigate the back portion of the house. I have asked my mother to wait until we have completed the paperwork we are dealing with to refinance the house before she decides to knock herself off - and take Dad with her.

Nothing but good times ahead.

Happy Birthday Mom.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Ranting in the New Year

I recently had some friends comment that they missed my blogging, why wasn't I blogging, when was I blogging again and I had to be honest and say that there wasn't anything in my brain that I felt was blog worthy. There really were a few things in my brain, but I knew if I really blogged about them people would become upset with me and in the spirit of peace, I chose to keep my big mouth shut.

So, I have a few things I can blog about for a moment to make up for it. There is nothing like starting out the new year with some insightful rants!

1. What is it with smokers? Really? I don't get it. My mother used to be a smoker. My aunt and uncle and older brother smoked. I smoked for the look of being rebellious when I was in high school and the first year of college. Then I went back to a high school football game (because I was a college student and therefore much cooler than you... thankyouverymuch) and I came upon some kids who were smoking, and I saw how completely UNcool they looked and I realized I looked equally UNcool and that was the end of my smoking career. So, I never had to actually fight the addiction of smoking or nicotine or any of that mess.

I will now agree that my previous statement means I really have no frame of reference... but honestly... it is 3 degrees in Nashville right now. The windchill is like -5 degrees and there are people STANDING OUTSIDE SMOKING. I know because I can see them. My office has a wall of windows that looks to an area where people frequent for their smoke breaks. HELLO.... Frostbite much? There are hungry and homeless people who are dying because of exposure to this weather and you are voluntarily standing there inhaling a substance so horrible that it could kill you? Seriously?

2. Reality TV. I can be as bad as the next person when it comes to a television show I enjoy watching. I even enjoy some reality TV - The Amazing Race is probably my favorite. But some reality TV really gets to me.

American Idol. I understand the concept. I enjoy the talent when I get to watch the talent. But the audition process kills me. I fear there is such a desperate need to be "famous" or to have some "exposure" to that claimed 15 minutes of fame that people simply throw all caution to the wind and make fools of themselves. The answer that the AI faithful will give me is to simply not watch the show. So, I don't. I have probably seen a total of 90 minutes of American Idol in the history of its airtime. I know, I know. I live in my small mind. I just don't find watching train wrecks that entertaining. Maybe its just me.

Probably why I also refuse to watch The Bachelor or the Bachelorette or any of their spin-offs. When was it a good idea to COMPETE with 30 other people for one person's affection? In the REAL WORLD a woman who learns a man she is involved with is even looking at someone else, she has a real problem with said man. She NEVER stands in line to win his affection. Or, if she does, she certainly cannot BELIEVE that said relationship has a chance of going anywhere. Hello... Communicable disease?

3. I'm a college student. Again. I am taking a history class. American history. I have to read things that are important and I need to retain them. I have to write papers and essays and read books and write papers and I wonder if I have lost my mind. Most likely have. Doubtful that I will locate it in the near future. Especially if it is not labeled "American History: Location of the Mind". And can we talk about the high cost of college? Why am I only taking one class, you ask? Because I can only AFFORD one class. Very sad.

4. I am in my mid-40s and I still succumb to peer pressure. I was certain that would change as I aged. Apparently not so. Enough said.