Tuesday, December 11, 2007

You Can’t Keep a Good Bell Down!

It amazes me on an almost-daily basis, that I am as normal as possible, given my upbringing. We are a family of dichotomy on the best of days. We have varying degrees of maturity, salaries and expenses, political stances and musical tastes. We also have what most Americans would view as a rather “reactive” stance when it comes to health care.

Which is amazing considering my father worked in health care his entire life and retired from Baptist Hospital in Nashville, Tennessee.

We as a family don’t really embrace the medical profession, as most people should. We typically wait until we are upon death’s door before seeking medical help. I am trying to do better in my personal healthcare life, but I admittedly have some way to go. Having had a gall bladder removed will go a long way in quickly putting to rest some essential fears (i.e. needles, anesthesia) I have found that my derision for the healthcare world must come from my maternal unit.

Today the Mom had an appointment with a new-to-her doctor. She has seen this doctor a couple of times. The first time she saw him was for a knee problem that ultimately resulted in knee surgery for her. A not-so-great experience that I felt may have rung the death knoll for future medical procedures for the Mom. At her next appointment with this doctor, she was advised that she need to have a physical and that her cholesterol was up. This young doctor (everyone is young to my almost 75 year old mother) suggested that she begin taking medication to keep her cholesterol down; however, the Mom didn’t want to take a medication and felt that a daily regimen of oatmeal for breakfast would work wonders, since that is what the commercials promise (and they never lie in advertising). She was given a six-month prescription for a daily mediation she takes and was instructed to return for another visit after six months.

Six months ended today. The Mom went back to the doctor today. The Mom may never return!!

The young doctor examined the Mom and told her that her heart sounds good, her lungs sound clear, her eyes are bright and the runny nose is something everyone else is dealing with right now, so just suck up that snot and move on. He wrote her an 12-month prescription for her daily meds and then came the kicker.

“Mrs. Bell, you owe me.”

“Okay. I’ll be happy to pay the bill once you give it to me.”

“No… you owe me a bone density scan, a Pap Test, a mammogram, an EKG, a tetnus shot and you need a booster for Typhoid and Smallpox. And oh yes, a colonoscopy.”

He may as well have asked for a Partridge in a Pear Tree and Ten Lords-A-Leaping while he was at it.

“Why do I need a smallpox booster? I am never around that disease”

“You are behind on your booster. It is always a good idea to keep up with those”

“I don’t have a lot of time to do all these things.”

“I tell you what, just make an appointment on your way out for one or two of them. You can pick which ones.” (What?! Are you kidding me? You never give the MOM that kind of option!)

The Mom makes her way to the appointment desk.

Receptionist: “Now, Mrs. Bell, you are supposed to make an appointment for some tests.”

“I’ll call you when I get home”

At which point the Mom escaped via the front door and with her 12-month prescription in hand and can breathe relatively easy… except for that runny nose.

New update in approximately 12 months! Merry Christmas to all and to all a Good Night!


Mary said...

I don't blame her! What a nuisance those crazy tests are.

Edd said...

Cathy, this is Awa's mom....please have your mom do these tests. We lost a friend this summer in 6 short weeks due to her not having a pap test that would have made a difference. Also, the colonostopy, look at it this way, where else can you pass gas at will and have people looking forward to it!
Speaking as a survivor because of tests!


Mary said...

Man, now I look like a jerk, don't I?

Cbell said...

I have talked to my mother more than once... and know that I cannot force her to do anything beyond her will.

Sean and Heather said...

NEW POST! NEW POST! NEW POST! Have a great weekend!