Friday, February 12, 2010

Re-cap of the Winter 2010 Olympic Opening Ceremonies

7:05 – Why does Shawn White have better hair than me? That is so irritating.

7:20 – Our uniforms are turtleneck sweaters. Really? And knit caps? I think I can get those at Wal-Mart. I really was expecting a little more. We’ll see which country’s team gets the gold for costuming.

7:23 – Visa commercial. “Right at this moment everyone is tied”. Way to be PC Visa.

7:25 – Ahnold passed off the torch? Who’s running California right now?

7:29 – Mary Carillo carried the torch in Iqaluit. Don’t the Canadians know there should be a “U” after the “Q”?

7:33 – Apollo Ohno’s hair – not quite as impressive as Shawn White’s. Just sayin’.

7:38 - Lindsey Jacobellis – might want to use lip liner with that bright pinkish red lipstick.

7:45 – British Columbian Canadian commercial. Actually may entice me to go there.

7:48 – We are the World 25. One month after the earthquake in Haiti. New and Improved. I don’t know half of these artists. Wait! I see Santana. And Vince Vaughn. When did he become a vocalist? Gads, I’m old. This did not impress.

7:52 – Reflecting on what I was doing a month ago with Brent Gambrell Ministries while we were trying desperately to get news of Katie Erie’s well-being. She was in Haiti at the epicenter of the quake. We got her and Tia and Naika home. A month later, we are still collecting supplies. We just sent 42,000 pounds of supplies, food and water to Haiti. We will continue to work in that country.

7:57 – Movie commercial for Gerard Butler in The Bounty Hunter. Oh yeah. I will be seeing that movie on opening day. Yum. Can I tase him too? Just wondering.

7:59 – They will dedicate the ceremony to Georgian luger, Nodar Kumaritashvili, who was killed in a training run this morning.

8:00 – Audience participation and fireworks start the show as the countdown begins.

8:04 – Okay… the snowboarder was pretty cool. Loved the Maple Leaf.

8:06 – Dear girlfriend of foreign dignitaries. Please refrain from jumping up and down in excitement while the ICO President is entering and taking his seat. It is a little distracting. Thank you.

8:07 – Look! Dudley Do Right. I love him. The Royal Canadian Mounties are entering. My friend Req is probably having an issue with the fact that their arm movements are NOT in synch.

8:09 – Make that Dudlette. The Mounties have girls. I wonder if this will send Snidely Whiplash into a tailspin.

8:10 – Oh Canada. Pretty. But halfway through, I couldn’t figure out the words. Probably because the only French I remember from high school had to do with opening a door. Kickin’ shoes, though.

8:12 – Everyone is wearing a white smock. Why is that? Is there a finger painting competition I don’t know about?

8:14 – Oh look! Native Americans! Oh. Wait. Those are tribal Canadians. Is that one guy listening to an Ipod? Very cool totems.

8:16 – Yay! The Aboriginal people are honored.

8:21 – Bring in the athletes!! They get to come in early so they can watch the show!

8:22 – Albania has one athlete. And about 15 handlers. Same with Algeria

8:25 – Two Flag bearers for Austria. They’re brothers! These guys have nice suits on. So far… classiest outfits.

8:26 – Azerbaijan – WHAT THE HECK? Those pants go on the worst dressed list. Yikes!

8:28 – Bermuda shorts. Really? You realize this is the Winter Olympics. Right?

8:30 – pretty sure if one of these athletes falls down while they are walking and videotaping at the same time… I’m gonna laugh right out loud.

8:31 – The Chinese are carrying two flags. I fear for their families back home.

8:30 - Emotional entrance for Georgia. Cool that they get an ovation. I love that athletes can set aside politics for a few weeks. But that the rest of the world could do the same… and for a longer length of time.

8:42 – The British are Coming! The British are Coming! LOVE the outfits. Might beat out the Austrians.

8:47 – Italy. Hot men. Great outfits. Good food. I need to get my passport updated.

9:03 – The Russian jackets are pretty cool.

9:06 – Green looks really good on the Slovenias. Best dressed list.

9:11 – Turkey. Is it Istanbul or Constantinople? Just wondering.

9:12 - U.S.A.!!!! Okay… the outfits aren’t as bad as I thought. But, I think Ralph Lauren could have done much better. Oh look! The Bidens are here. I wonder if the Obamas are boycotting because Chicago lost the Olympic bid? Hmm.

9:14 – Yay. The Canadians are here. It should be time to get on with the show now.

9:19 – The tribal people have been dancing for about an hour now. Talk about athletic!

9:20 – Hasn’t anyone told Bryan Adams that the skinny tie went out in… oh… say the year of his last number one single? And while I have an affinity for really cool shoes… I’m not sure about Nelly’s.

9:24 – Awesome Coke commercial. Snowball fight in Olympic village.

9:27 – The journey begins. With fake snow.

9:30 – Ooh… is that supposed to be the northern lights? WOW. Huge bear. I mean, H.U.G.E. And all the peoples are strung with Christmas lights.

9:33 – Okay… breaking up the floor w graphics. Ultra cool.

9:34 – Cooler still… the Orca whale graphics. Complete with blow holes. Awesome.

9:35 – This is really spectacular. Salmon to totems to trees. Amazing.

9:44 – Witched canoe, Maple leafs and mohawked fiddlers, oh my.

9:51 – Kinda like Stomp. But not.

9:53 – Toyota commercial. Please don’t stop buying our cars.

9:55 – Nissan commercial. Our cars are better

9:57 – Prairie and Joni Mitchell. “It’s clouds illusions I recall…” I never got that song.

10:00 – I get why everyone is wearing white smocks. It makes a great canvas for all the lighting and visual effects. HORSES!

10:03 – Ooh. Storms. Those are cool effects. Morphed into mountains. Oh. Look! Skiers and snowboarders. And Shawn White loves it. All is well.

10:11 – A Beatnik? Really? Oh-kay. I need him to push his glasses up. I can say that because I wear glasses and I am constantly pushing them up on my nose.

10:16 – Recognizing Nodar Kumaritashvili. Classy.

10:17 – Furlong welcomes us to Vancouver. Thanks. Ok. Three minutes later, he can stop talking now. Where’s the torch?

10:26 – Turned it over to Jacques Rogge. Are we there yet?

10:31 – Governor General Michaelle Jean opens the Olympic Games! Whoo Hoo!

10:32 – K.D. Lang.

10:39 – Olympic flag enters. Donald Sutherland. LOVE. Him.

10:40 – Anne Murray and Bobby Orr.

10:42 – Olympic hymn sung by operatic singer with HUGE hair. Seriously huge. Like Mall Hair huge. I think Donna Summer had that hair back in the day.

10:43 – Fan on the Olympic and Canadian flags are not quite working.

10:45 – Anne Murray is frightened of the hair. So is Bobby Orr. Donald Sutherland doesn’t look scared. But, he’s an actor. He can fake it through the fear. Heck… I’m in Nashville and I am afraid of the hair.

10:46 – Moment of silence for Nodar Kumaritashvili. Lowering the flags to half mast. Wonderfully appropriate.

10:48 – Oath given. No doping and no drugs. Okay. Judge Oath. They promise to be fair and just.

10:50 – Nissan commercial. Our cars are better because they are 100% electric.

10:53 – The flame comes in with Rick Hansen – paralympian. Passes it off to Catriona Lemay Don, speed skater. Passes it off to basketball player Steve Nash. Passes it off to Nancy Greene, the most successful Canadian woman athlete. Then on to Wayne Gretsky. Not a huge surprise.

10:57 – Wayne is waiting to light something. But there isn’t anything to light just yet.

10:58 – Thinking there is a mechanical failure. Wouldn’t that really SUCK?! Everyone is looking at each other with confused faces. Gotta admit… this makes me giggle. Just a little. Reminds me of a few technical problems I have had before.

10:59 – Something is rising. But not quite the cauldron.

11:00 – Ahh… something is rising from out of the ground. Maybe this is it? Kinda reminds me of the Superman set. Hoping no one falls in the big hole in the ground.

11:01 – Torch is lit!

11:02 – Ceremony is concluded. Wayne is heading outside to light the real cauldron.

11:07 – The Bidens: Joe- “It takes a lotta guts man, a lotta guts.” He wants to see the downhill skiers, she wants to see the women’s hockey and bobsledders.

11:09 – The Great One is in a truck heading across town.

11:12 – Switching out torches. Gretsky’s arm is getting tired too.

11:14 – Gretsky heading to the outdoor cauldron. Look… it still looks like Superman’s home!

11:15 – Ahh. Finally. All the lights are burning bright.


Mary said...

So many of my own thoughts expressed here. Could you hear them? Just curious. The only thing I would add is that the little girl who sang the Canadian National Anthem looked as if she were wearing a large red napkin. It was folded perfectly and then wrapped around her. I noticed her shoes too...kickin' indeed.

Porcelain Smiles said...

Bahaha. You take your Olympics seriously, dontcha?? P.S. I'm back in the blogspot world. (: