Sunday, June 11, 2006

Lucy & Ethel Have Four Eyes... Really They Do!

As children, taunting comes second nature. People with braces are called "metal mouth". People with lower grade point averages are "retards" and people who wear glasses are called "four eyes".

My family has its fair share of four eyes. I remember the day my mother took me to the optometrist in the third grade because I had begun squinting in class more often. The chalkboard became fuzzier and fuzzier. My mother cried as I walked into the exam room... which did not help ease my fears at all. I suppose she knew I was inheriting her eyes, and my older brother's as well. Thank the good Lord that my vision is not as bad as his! Whew! Couldn't see the broad side of a barn with his glasses. My younger brother has glasses as well, as does one of his children.

Lucy and Ethel both wear glasses too. Although Lucy has been told she has cataracts (and her father had them as well) she is not planning to do anything about it. She sees well enough, and just tries to limit her driving to daylight hours.

Being the younger of the two... Ethel has always had more fashion sense when it comes to make-up application. She was the one who taught me how to pluck my eyebrows... Lucy has only ever plucked a chicken, as far as I know. So, Ethel was VERY excited when they came upon a store that carried her make-up line there in Orlando. She typically has to order it over the phone or some other avenue. One of their excursions in Orlando was to said establishment where Ethel could purchase make-up to her heart's content.

That must have been what brought about Lucy's concern about her own make-up issues. One particular problem was that her eyeliner was abrasive on her sensitive eyes. It made her eyes water and they came to the conclusion that perhaps it had somehow been contaminated by perfume of some sort. Ethel, self-sacrificing sister that she is... applied the eyeliner to her own eye and did not have a problem.

Lucy took the same liner and applied it, only to begin another watering episode. It appears that while Ethel lines the bottom of the lid of her eye... Lucy likes to pull the bottom lid down and actually line ABOVE the eyelashes... into the eye itself. Much discussion arose on the correct technique of this application but was heightened as Ethel began to line her upper eyelid. Ethel realized that Lucy did not apply liner to the upper lid and inquired as to the reason.

Lucy's reply, "I don't put liner on my top eye."

Ethel's dumbstruck facial can only be imagined as she attempted to determine which eye was her top eye and which eye was her bottom eye.

Apparently those biology classes continue to allude Lucy & Ethel.


1 comment:

Requelle said...

Seriously? How did you make it this far??