Automatic Toilets are of the Devil

So… I’m living in a crazy time of my life right now. I started a new job and I am taking three classes this semester.

I may have lost my mind.

Seriously.

I did this all at the same time. I started the new job on a Monday and started college classes the next Monday. It is a good thing I went to Arkansas between the two jobs. I am not sure when I will be able to travel again. Hopefully, mid-December after finals.

So, my new job is, of course, in a new office. The funny part is that my new office is about 1.3 miles from my old one.

Apparently, the building owners at my new office are passionate about automatic bathroom features. Everything is operated by motion detectors… the soap dispenser, the paper towel dispenser, and the toilets. These features eliminate the need for hundreds of hands (with millions of germs) to touch the same fixtures.

I get the point of automatic features. However, the toilets are freaking me out a little bit. They randomly flush with no warning. Let’s say you sneeze… the toilet will flush. You reach over to the toilet paper roll, the toilet flushes. You can turn your head and the toilet will flush.

Then… when you stand up… which is when the toilet SHOULD flush. Nothing.

You can turn around and wave your arms and nothing happens.

I could dance a jig in front of the toilet and it would not flush.

I think there is a conspiracy here somewhere, but I’m not looking for it. It may be germy.

Scrubbing Bubbles

I don’t usually endorse products, but for the sake of a fun story, I will endorse this one. I am a fan of the Scrubbing Bubbles Toilet Cleaning Gel.

Okay. Actually, I am a fan of anything Scrubbing Bubbles. It started with the commercials first came out on television and I wanted my very own happy bubbles scurrying around my bathtub, toilet and bath sink. Those bubbles were just so darned cute!


Much better than thinking there was a little man in a rowboat hanging out in my toilet tank. Ick.




Anyway, I have been using the Scrubbing Bubbles for years now to clean my bathroom. So, when their new product came out, toilet cleaning gel, I was intrigued. On one of my forays to Wal-Mart to purchase household items, I grabbed one of these to try it out.

I loved it.

Not so much because it was really keeping my toilet bowl any cleaner than normal, but it did leave a wonderfully fresh and clean smell in my bathroom.

I think clean smelling bathrooms are essential.

I just bought my second gel stick and applied it to the toilet bowl… and learned a great lesson.

If one applies said gel mixture too close to the rim where the water flows into the toilet bowl when one flushes… one will be treated to dancing waters that would make the Bellagio in Vegas proud.

Or perhaps, one would have a custom made bidet.

Regardless… water will spurt right up out of the toilet bowl. I am happy to say I did not learn about this until after standing up… or I would have had quite the surprise!!

Thank you Scrubbing Bubbles. I feel so European now!

Clowns in Space? Ew.

Here’s something you never really want to read in a newspaper article:

Space Tourist Plans to Tickle His Colleagues.

Yes, it is true. The newest celebrity/billionaire to make his trek into the Great Unknown is none other than Cirque du Soleil founder Guy Laliberte. I have to admit I am somewhat jealous. Who wouldn’t want to jaunt off on a mission to the space station? I would consider it. But I don’t have billions of dollars to throw away on a once-in-a-lifetime trek. I have to pay for college books and tuition for goodness sakes!

I have to admit I am just not a fan of Cirque. It is creative and imaginative. The costuming is spectacular. But there are only so many times I want to watch a petite flower bend herself into a pretzel. Once you have witnessed a behemoth balance five people on his head whilst riding a unicycle, you really don’t have to witness that again.

But now the leader is heading into space. And what does he plan to do there? Tickle the astronauts in their sleep.

He would do well to stay in space before “tickling” me in my sleep, lest I wake up swinging and fling the poor guy into an orbit all his own.

He’s going to pass out red clown noses too. Because the one thing the space station needs are clown noses floating about.

Makes you wonder if, once the space ship is docked to the station, Mr. Laliberte rings the doorbell and the cosmonauts treat him like a Jehovah’s Witness and just refuse to answer the door, hoping he will take his clown nose and tickling apparatuses and simply return to Mother Earth.

I just bet we will hear them laughing from here!