Sunday, February 06, 2011

Super Bowl XLV Commercial Recap

5:22 – Lea Michelle sings America the Beautiful and apparently many believe it is the National Anthem. Exxcept for Aaron Rodgers who is looking around and wondering what all the fuss is about. He is apparently not a Glee fan.

5:23: Christina Aguilera. Did she mess up the words to the National anthem? Yes, yes she did. If there is ever a song to know all the words to, it would be the National Anthem. Heck… get a teleprompter if you have to. And did she really have to go there on that last note? Don’t try to go all Whitney Houston on us here Christina. I’m a fan of yours. Really I am. But when Lea Michelle is better than you… it’s just sad.

5:35 Kick off – and We’re off. Oh wait… that’s horse racing.

5:44 FIRST commercial break:

Bud Light kitchen make-over. You guys spent a lot of money for nothing. That’s a fail.

Doritos Pug attack. I think this may have been like a winner of a contest. You usually can’t go wrong with a cute dog, but: Blah.

Audi: This actually had some thought behind it. Clever.

5:50 SECOND commercial break:

Doritos: Wow. Did he just suck that man’s fingers? And sniff that other man’s pants? Okay. That was better than the pug, but I feel somewhat dirty now and it has nothing to do with nacho cheese residue.

Chevrolet Cruze: Chevy missed the mark with this one. Am I getting too cynical? I am expecting more and so far, epic fail on the commercial departments.

Pepsi: Ick. I say this probably because I HATE Pepsi. H-A-T-E it. Really. But this just wasn’t all that. Keeping my hopes up that they are saving the better ones for later.

5:56 THIRD commercial break:

Bud Lite spoof of Three Musketeers movie and product placement. That was better than the kitchen make-over, but that is not saying much.

8:44 FOURTH commercial break

Chevy Truck: Okay… the first commercial to make me laugh out loud. Nice throwback to the old Lassie days.

Movie: Faster & Furiouser? Oh. Five Fast. I guess I had to have seen the first four in order to appreciate the commercial. Or that Dwayne Johnson

Ashton Kutcher is behind Laura Bush. Hoping she doesn’t get punked

A-Rod apparently can’t feed himself. Nice that Cameron is there to help out.

Packers score first. Much to my dismay.

6:02 FOURTH commercial break:

Pepsi Max: Still no. I cannot think of a way that Pepsi could make a commercial that would make me want to buy and drink their product. Have I mentioned that I hate Pepsi? This was better than the last one, but what is it with Pepsi and hitting people?

Doritos- Dead fish. Who knew Doritos had the power to restore life? Bringing Grandpa back was rather epic.

Hyundai Elantra. That didn’t do much for me… and I own a Hyundai

I don’t count the Fox show commercials

6:05 FIFTH set of commercials:

Movie trailer for Cowboys & Aliens. You know, when I first saw this ad a few months ago, I thought it was a joke. It apparently is not a joke. It has Daniel Craig in it and I love Daniel Craig. But I’m not so sure about this movie. Probably a rental.

Kia’s one epic ride. That cost a lot of money. Good use of a tagline though.

6:08 Packers score again. And there’s a flag on the play? There was no reason for a flag. I don’t think that was excessive. My Steelers may be in trouble here.

6:09 SIXTH set of commercials:

Eminem for Brisk Ice Tea. Because Slim Shady doesn’t want to do a beer commercial? This may not be the best marketing of his brand. Ice Tea? Really? At any rate, claymation Eminem is not really any better than the real thing. But maybe a little cuter.

6:16 SEVENTH commercial break

Bridgestone Tire. That was pretty clever. It took me a while to get what the commercial was for, but clever.

Go Daddy. So far the best use of celebrity – and I’m not talking Danica Patrick or Jillian Michaels, but Joan Rivers. That was fun. Even though I really hate Go Daddy commercials.

Steelers finally on the board.

6:23 EIGHTH commercial break

Budweiser: It’s the CLYDESDALES! But not really. I am hoping for a better Clydesdale commercial coming up. However, the fact that this is using Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer” is pretty classic.

Telaflora commercial with Faith Hill: Pretty good. Nice rack. Let’s us know where men’s minds really are. Not a surprise there.

Movie Trailer: Transformers again? Okay. I liked the others, so I’ll give it a chance. But probably as a rental.

Hey! John Travolta & Ron Howard are in the house. How did they get tickets, I wonder?

6:26 NINTH commercial break

BMW – Please buy our cars. We’re helping the economy here. We have plants all over the country. Okay… at least in the south and the west coast.

Motorola Xoom. Apparently better than the IPad, which is just a cookie cutter gadget. The Xoom makes you take the stairs. Buys flowers for girls and doesn’t listen to Ipods. The Xoom makes you an individual… and makes girls not listen to their Ipods either.

BMW (part Two) Smog is bad. Bad smog. Bad. The diesel Beemer is better for the environment. Of course, you still can’t afford one… but if you could, they’d have the car to buy.

6:31 TENTH commercial break

Coke commercial: Is it Lord of the Rings? No… its COKE. It vanquishes the Orcs and creates fireworks. It cost a lot of money and the only reason I am not completely slamming it is because it is Coke, which is better than Pepsi any day.

Movie trailer for Thor: Natalie Portman? Really?

VW mini Darth Vader: BEST. COMMERCIAL. EVER. At least, so far. Hilarious. How can you go wrong with a little kid in a Darth Vader costume?

6:39 ELEVENTH commercial break

Snickers: Richard Lewis & Roseanne Barr. Okay… I laughed here. Anything that knocks Roseanne on her keister.

Career Builder: Chimps make bad drivers… and bad commercials.

Movie trailer: Super 8. I have no idea what this movie will be about.

6:49 TWELTH commercial break:

Onstar: They can give you Facebook statuses now… because that is important when you are driving.

Movie trailer: Capt America: This makes me happy. I’d like to see more.

CarMax: That was cute. It was a little too fast to blog about, but clever.

6:57 FINALLY the Steelers get a TD. It only took them until 39 second left in the first half.

And now… HALF- TIME

Black Eyed Peas - Dropping from the ceiling is AWESOME. That may be the end of the awesomeness of this show though.

I Gotta Feeling. I Gotta Feeling the sound engineers should get the mics working. I am all about live performances and no lip synching… but it really means the sound guys get the mix right. How hard can this be? You’re playing a track and have four wireless mic units to run. Epic Fail on the sound guys. They shouldn’t get paid.

BOOM BOOM POW – It’s a Tron half time show. LED outfits are pretty cool. Not Winter Olympics cool, but cool nonetheless.

Really… get the freakin’ mics working.

SLASH!! But… why is Fergie singing Guns & Roses music? Why is she trying to dance around Slash? You don’t get your groove on with Slash! That’s sacrilegious.

USHER! His mic works. Sorta. He can get his grove on though.

And now… the floor says Love. And the sound issues are still there… and the show is over.

People either loved or hated that halftime show. The sound engineers should probably never be hired for a live event again.

7:36 Back to commercials- THIRTEENTH commercial break Blah.

Etrade Baby. Love these commercials. Still like the Ipad one better, but this was worthy of a giggle. Who doesn’t love babies talking and getting measured for a suit by an Italian designer? Only Nazis.

Best Buy. Ozzie and the Biebers. Now this was fun. I hate that they want to put Ozzie out to pasture and let the Biebs take over, but a great commercial. And I hate the Biebs. Was that Justin Timberlake at the end?

I may have missed some commercials as the puppy had to be taken outside and there are just some things one should not delay. Puppy potty breaks are one of them.

7:50 FOURTEENTH commercial break

Elantra. Still not exciting. Still not going to buy that car. Will keep my Santa Fe.

Groupon. Tim Hutton? Really? That was the best you can do? I don’t think I even knew there was a Tibetan food group category.

Coke. We’ll bring peace to the world, if you’ll just let us. The border guards have nothing but love for each other now. Loved this commercial. But then again, I love Coke. Have I mentioned that?

7:53 FIFTEENTH commercial break

Stella Artois. Adrian Brody sings in a nightclub. Makes me want to snap my fingers over and over, smoke foreign herbal cigarettes and wear dramatically black clothing. And rhyme. Doesn’t make me want to buy a beer though.

Carmax. Thing of the past ad. That was great fun. Enjoyed the panicked feeling of this generation not understanding full service at a gas station. Dang. I’m old.

Simon Cowell is back? Why?

8:01 SIXTEENTH commercial break

What does Detroit know about luxury? I give up. They don’t have much in the way of a football team. Hey… it’s a Chrysler commercial. Do they even still make Chryslers? Apparently so. Is that Eminem? Driving a Chrysler? I really do not think he is all that bad@$$ any more if he drives a Chrysler and drinks Lipton Brisk tea.

8:22 SEVENTEETH commercial break

NFL. Best Fans Ever. May shoot to the top of Best. Commercial.

Jack in the Box. An American Jack Combo. This would be a great commercial except for the fact that all the Jack in the Box restaurants in middle TN have closed. Sad.

Arbys. They serve fish now? Fail. They only serve Pepsi products. I will order their roast beef and drive across to the McDonald’s for a Coke.

8:32 EIGHTEENTH commercial break

Movie trailer: Rango. Who isn’t going to love this? Johnny Depp playing a lizard. Not that far a cry from Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas, if you think about it. Talking cars. I have yet to see an impressive car commercial.

Bud lite. Dogs as wait staff. This is awesome. Dogs playing poker… does it get any better than that?

8:35 NINETEENTH commercial break.

Sonata hybrid. Better than the other Hyundai commercials.

Pepsi commercial. Okay, this was funny and you know how I hate Pepsi. Another example of how men and women are truly different and think on different planes. Still won’t buy the product.

Movie Trailer: Rio. Cute animated film… with apparently a big booty involved.

8:44 TWENTIETH commercial break:

Bridgestone – so much better than the last Bridgestone commercial.

Go daddy. I hate these commercials. I always have.

VW Beetle. Oh Black Betty, Bam-a-Lam. Love it. It’s a bug and I like it. This is monumental because I hate bugs. The insects, not the car. I learned to drive a stick shift on a VW Beetle.

8:47 TWENTY-FIRST commercial break:

Mercedes Benz. With Janis Joplin? Classic. So why did you have to ruin it with P Diddy? This was an awesome ad, P Diddy appearance notwithstanding.

House Commercial. I said I wouldn’t include these… but that was CLASSIC!! Love the play off the old Mean Joe Green commercial.

8:57 TWENTY-SECOND commercial break

Camaro. I used to own a Camaro. I never looked like those women. But I sure drove it fast. Man, I loved that car!

Verizon guy is back!! Yay. We can still hear you too. The best decision I made was to change to Verizon. Have I ever mentioned that?

Movie Trailer:Limitless. De Niro. That may be worth it.

Skechers. With Kim Kar??? No thank you. If I had ever thought to buy those shoes, I have just made the decision to pass on them.

9:09 TWENTY-THIRD and final commercial break

Etrade Baby – flu shot with the cat. Awesome.

Okay… I’m going to move over to Hawaii 5-0 because my team lost and I will enjoy a H50 rerun better than these commercials.
No Clydesdales= Lame.


bwdlake said...

Great Job! But who really takes that good of notes? Did you even watch the game.

Mary said...

Loved the Darth Vader commercial. It reminded me of my boys. They are constantly trying to use the force to do things. It works on automatic doors at the grocery store. :)

Cara said...

Wow! Now I don't even feel like I missed anything not watching the game! :)

Requelle said...

who needs to watch it when you do a break-down like this?

Cbell said...

Well... you'd want to watch the game for, I dunno, the love of the game of football. I'd really be happy to go from winter to fall and skip the ickiness of spring/summer/baseball/nascar. But that's just me.