Saturday, September 12, 2009

Exaggeration

It is always something, isn't it?

So a couple of weeks ago my maternal unit woke up WAY before her normal time and made her way to the kitchen and the brewed pot of coffee. Her morning ritual is to drink said coffee and take her blood pressure medication. This morning was no different.

After her morning meds, she ambled off to the computer to check her email, etc. After about 30 minutes, she realized she would rather be asleep, and being the retired person she is, headed back to bed and dreamed a little dream of me.

Okay, she probably didn't dream. But that was a pretty clever way to end the previous paragraph.

Fast forward an hour or so and you will find the maternal unit making herself a bowl of cereal for breakfast and, having no memory of the early waking experience, took herself another blood pressure pill.

She realized the mistake after she swallowed.

Oops.

As I enter the house at the end of the work day, my paternal unit says the following words to me: Your Mother has had a bad day.

What does that mean? Does it mean she read a disturbing email. Did she shatter another bottle of fingernail polish on the bathroom floor? Did she slip and fall? All sorts of things run through the brain when trying to decipher my paternal unit's phrase. Unfortunately, I have to bite.

Me: What happened?

Dad: Your mother overdosed on blood pressure medicine.

Now, when one thinks of an overdose, one typically believes the person has determined to take vast quantities of a drug. My paternal unit goes on to explain what happened ending with this phrase:

So, we sat around all day and waited to see if your mother was going to die.

Seriously?

Me: Did you call her doctor?

PU: Yes. He said she would probably just have a headache or feel dizzy or maybe faint.

Me: So at no time did he mention the ability of the maternal unit to keel over and kick the proverbial bucket, right?

PU: Well.... no.

Okay. Listen up you senior adults out there... you can elongate the years of your offspring's life if you don't announce that you have spent the day staring at each other waiting for one of you to die.

Seriously. (This is my new favorite word)

I need some ice cream to make me feel better.

2 comments:

Requelle said...

but if they didn't come up with these things to tell you, what pray tell would you blog about... and give your friends something to laugh about. i was just thinking the parental units haven't done anything recently that deemed blog worthy and it was about due. So. thereyago.

Mary said...

Awesome!

Seriously.